Saturday, August 15, 2020

"Endless Grace and Boundless Compassion of Nannagaru" - (By Lalitha Garu)

My husband was diagnosed with brain cancer and was terminal in January 2015. I did not tell many people about this. However, my friend Laxmi/ Madhavi from Chinmaya came to know about this. She came to visit Viswanadhan in the rehabilitation center sometime in September 2015. She got a picture of Nannagaru and Bhagavan pictures along with few books. That was the first time I saw Nannagaru . Pointing out towards the picture of Nannagaru , asked her who he was? She calmly said it was Jinnuru Nanagaru and her guru. She mentioned to me that I could talk to him if I wanted to. I was drained emotionally and physically. I did not know what to talk or ask him for as I did not have any hope. I told her I am not ready to talk to him. She asked me to visit his website and listen to his speeches. When it is not time yet for you the senses and mind won’t cooperate. I never had a chance to listen to the audios. Even when I attempted, all the words were going over my head.

About a month later my husband passed away. I was in a state of frustration, anger, dejection. Madhavi gave me Nanagaru books back in the rehabilitation center. I started reading Madhu Geetha and my mother who was with me read Nanagaru’s book Amritavakkulu. Every day she shared with me whatever she read in the book, one of the sentences in that book caught my attention and gave me peace and acceptance. Later, if I had any questions or doubts I used to ask Madhavi about it.

During the month of May 2016, I met Madhavi in Chinmaya mission and told her that I am going to India taking my husband’s ashes to do the needful and during this visit, I mentioned to her I will search my guru and I want to visit Belur Mutt, Arunachalam and Jinnur. She told me that just visit Nanangaru first that should suffice. I laughed off and told if it is in my destiny it will happen. She also mentioned that travel from Vizag to Jinnur is quicker than Hyderabad by car in case I intend to visit him.

During my travel to India during this time, I met Deepthi another Nanna devotee who was traveling with me to India, and her seats were right behind me. Now, when I think about it his grace had started since then. She too persuaded me to visit Nannagaru . Later, after a week of my arrival at Visakhapatnam, the whole atmosphere was dull and gloomy. One afternoon, I hear some inner voice saying to me that I was wasting my time here doing nothing without a thought I should see Nannagaru . I didn’t know how to go as I had certain constraints being in my in-laws. I didn't have any ones number in Jinnur nor I knew anyone there. My in-laws did not have the internet then, so could not WhatsApp Madhavi either. However, I called my vadina asking her to ping Madhavi. Madhavi in few minutes called me and made arrangements for my trip as and advised me to see him in the next couple of days as Nanagaru was going to Arunachalam during the last week of June. I gathered my courage to tell my in-laws that I wanted to visit Nannagaru.

After some confusion and resentment, they finally agreed. Well! when I think about it when you seek the higher he will take care of you. You don’t have to worry about anything.

The much-awaited time arrived. I started at about 6 am with my kids and Father In-law to Jinnur on June 21, 2016. On our way to Jinnur, I was anxious if I will be there on time as Nanagaru generally rests after lunch in the morning. We were about 20 mins away from Jinnur, Pushpa aunty from Poduru accompanied us, Deepthi(USA) was waiting for me outside his house. She told us that Nannagaru went for lunch he may or may not come but we all can wait. We were all sitting in the hall. It was so peaceful there. I had fear of what I should ask Nanagaru, how he will be and several other thoughts were racing my mind.

It was about 10:15 AM Nanagaru entered the room. I saw him for the first time my heart was pounding both out of happiness and anxiety. He asked who I was and other details.

The first instruction he told me was “Happiness is independent, it is not depended on material objects or people or surroundings".

Since I was mourning the loss of my husband, I felt he told me that, “We like ourselves most, and then only we tend to like others. Because others satisfy our ego". He continued saying, “Death is like vacating one house and going to another house".

I asked him how can I reduce my destiny! I was expecting a magic or miracle word here I suppose as I could not handle it anymore.

However, he said, "Don’t identify with the body".

He also said, "Enjoy destiny as you enjoy sweet (payasam) and by doing so, it would not be repeated to next birth"

He told me he would take away my sorrow in 24 hours! I was a bit surprised as to how that can be!

Later, I again had a darshan of him in the afternoon. All the while there was one thought lingering in my mind that I wanted to ask him “Nanagaru, I might have done a lot of sin that I am seeing all this at such a young age. I could not ask him as my father in law was there. After talking for a few minutes we took leave and we headed out. I was not satisfied I felt I was just rushing back home.

Pushpa aunty was asking me if I was happy and satisfied. I was thinking in my mind “No, I am not happy, as I did not ask him to want I wanted to”. My father in law went ahead of us and as I was about to leave Nannagaru called me back. Yes, he called me back! He is Omnipresent, he can read my mind!

I sat in front of him slowly he was asking me several questions in such a way he finally made me ask him, I cried and asked, ”Nannagaru, I think I committed a lot of sin“ and was crying did not care who was there who was watching I poured my heart.

My daughter was there with me and said Amma every one cried when you were crying. In 2 hours Nannagaru distributed my sadness to everyone

He slowly told me, "I will give you peace, unbearable peace! You will be happy. God dictates, he doesn't have compassion".

He asked me to check out the website and read/listen to the audios. His love was unconditional. He was so compassionate and caring! I have never experienced this from anyone!

He gave me Prasad and we left. I was already so happy! He slowly took control of my mind.

The next day I was ready to leave for Hyderabad and the flight was about 1pm. I was getting ready to eat breakfast. My mother-in-law made pooris for breakfast which I always avoid as they were my husband’s favorites and I remember him when I eat the pooris made by her specifically and used to end up crying. However, I never had any thoughts I ate all the poori for breakfast, and later after sitting in the flight I realized how I ate those pooris without sorrow or unhappiness and I actually enjoyed eating them. I then felt it was all Nannagaru’s grace, he said he will remove my sorrow in 24 hours and this is how he did it and I was so happy and joyed thinking about it.

After I came to the USA I had a longing to go see him and spend more time with him. Every day I used to cry out of happiness and peace that I got after I met Nannagaru. Even, today I cry out of joy remembering those days. Again, by his grace, I went to see him in a span of 6 months. This time it was for a few more days. Each time I visited him I received more and more peace. During this trip, he said that you have to do the work that God had assigned you, even if your husband was there. Meaning that work has to be get done only by you irrespective of the conditions and situations so just do it off without complaining.

I went to see him again during Gurupurnima 2017. I asked him, "How to change my nature?"

"It is challenging to change one’s nature due to previous birth tendencies. However, he said that by one's will and with divine intervention it can be changed".

He told me a magic word to change my nature! Tolerance, Tolerance, and more Tolerance!

Sometimes when I have to take my kids for their activities to long drives and take care of everything by myself, I used to feel If my husband was alive he would have taken care of all of these. Nannagaru is omnipresent he knows our struggles, thoughts and everything. When I happened to meet President Lakshmi Aunty she told one thing, ”If there is a work alloted to be completed by you it will have to be done through you only, even when your husband is alive. So do the work sincerely and willingly”. It actually wiped out all the doubts I had, ever since I never complain or felt bad about the work. Nannagaru uses various people in life as instruments and guides us in the right path and in such a way that we move more closer internally. My life has changed after I met him. Before I met him, I attended several discourses but it was only subjective. Nannagaru explained Atma Vidya subject in a very simple language. After listening to his speeches and reading his books and Bhagavan books, I understood that all this is required to know the self, “Who am I”? He not only instructed or preached he gave us the strength to practice it. Without which the purpose is lost! 

All the while I was thinking okay this birth is bad I will have a better birth next time etc., but that is not the case. Nothing will change. The most awakening view for me was to purify my mind! This is very much required to attain higher births and a stepping stone for self-realization! I have been missing this basic fundamental point until I met him. As Krishna said in Geeta, when times are bad or are causing pain for a person is indeed good for his future. When I think about the circumstances/situation that made me meet Nannagaru it feels like a perfect example!

"God knows what's best for us more than us!", said Nannagaru.

Though I saw him in person only 3 times he helped me to connect with him mentally and slowly started working on me.

He made my life take a 360-degree turn. I can write pages and pages about his blessing but I don’t ever think I can ever do justice to it. As a child, I was chanting Hanuman chalisa, Vishnu Saharanama, Lalitha Shasranamam, read Sai charitra, and Datta Charitra. All these prayers were done asking God to fulfill some material desire (kaamya karmas) of mine. I did similar prayers etc. when my husband was battling cancer, but nothing could help him. Later through Nana’s speeches, I realized that what is meant to happen will happen no matter what, what is not meant to happen is not bound to happen. This was Bhagavan instruction to his mother which I always remember as this instruction has changed my perception of life.

I always have great respect to Madhavi USA for directing me to Nannagaru, who I always refer to her as my upaguruvu! I am grateful for being part of Nannagaru family, and to experience his unconditional love.

Love You Nannagaru!

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