Sunday, August 9, 2020

"Baby steps towards Surrender" - (By Dr.Usha Garu)

Subsequently, I joined the college in Chidambaram for my Dental graduation (BDS). The first year passed away quickly and it was at the beginning of the second year that
I felt I should go and visit Arunachala. My desire to see the place increased manifold. I made inquiries in my hostel and amongst my friends regarding the directions to reach Arunachala, none of them had even heard of that place. I had finally asked my friend Sara (who was a Christian friend from Pondicherry, as there is Aurobindo Ashram in Pondy & so probably I could get some clue), she said she didn’t know. I asked her to let me know if she came across anyone who knew it. It so happened that Sara was ragging 4(MBBS) juniors an hour later and one of them was from Tiruvannamalai. She sent her to my room to meet me and I was overwhelmed. I asked her about the travel details. She said her parents were coming to pick her up, on coming Saturday & I could travel with them in their car to Thiruvannamalai (Arunachala). I accompanied the junior girl and their family that weekend to Tiruvannamalai. It so happened that Nannagaru was there in Tiruvannamalai the same day (so also my sisters) which I wasn't aware of.

On my way to Ramana Ashram, I found Nanna devotees as well as my sisters on the roadside, so I requested my junior to drop me there.

My sisters were quite surprised and told me "So Nanna knew you were really coming!".

I said, I myself didn’t know I would be coming, how did Nanna know!

Then my sisters told me, we spoke with Nanna just an hour ago that - "Usha is in Chidambaram. If she knew we were here with you, she would have come too. But since we had no means to communicate we couldn’t inform her”.

Nannagaru smiled and said, "But Usha is coming. She is on the way”.

My sisters were surprised and confused by hearing this, they thought that Nanna was being casual and probably didn’t really mean it. They said, "Quickly go and have darshan as he might close the door. He just went inside after the noon session”.

I had purchased a bunch of roses on the way to take it to Ramana Ashram. I rushed towards Nannagaru's room cheerfully with them in hand, as his presence there made me really joyful. With more joy & cheer, Nanna welcomed me and said, “So you have come, Usha!” with a bright compassionate smile.

I gifted the flowers & he asked what are those for? I told him I purchased them as a gift as I was visiting Thiruvannamalai for the first time.

He happily received them saying "Very Good, I will show you All of Arunachalam". I spent the next 6 days with him in complete bliss. He used to treat me like his kid and showered me with a lot of love and grace. In fact, every time he came to Tiruvannamalai from then on I would be in his presence that very day though not informed about it. I would have a strong pull to go to Arunachala & I would travel as if someone pushed me. I would spend many days with him irrespective of my college attendance. He used to have his food with devotees in Ramanashram. He would keep me beside him always. He used to have a small box of sugar to eat with Idli. He would share his idly(& sugar) with me though I was also served. He would also pour coffee from his glass into mine and ask me to drink it. Every meal of his he would share at least some portion with me though I was served everything along with others. His love knew no bounds nor did my tears as this divine love swayed me totally!

The small offerings we gave Nanna were like giving a tiny bit of his creation to himself. He would tell the story where Ganesha idol after making it with jaggery, Since there was nothing left to offer to the sweet idol, a tiny part of jaggery was pinched from the stomach & put as an offering. Similarly whatever we offer to God or Guru is giving what already is his. Also, Nanna always said this practice of offering is good because one fine day we should be able to offer the ego(doer-ship & ownership), and the purpose of learning to give should one day lead to giving up your individual to experience the divine supreme!

No comments:

Post a Comment