I heard the name ‘Sri Nannagaru’ for the first time on 4.10.1991 from a friend of mine. I’ve heard the names of this swami..that swami..but this name..Sri Nannagaru..meaning Respected Father!!How different and special! I thought. A month later, I happened to hear Bhagavan’s biography. I loved the song ‘ Arunachala Siva’. I used to ask God for favors and boons. In return I would think of offering coconuts in the temple, or climb the seven hills of Tirupati and so on. The first book I read was ‘Sri Nanna Uvacha’, from which the sentence, “Are you trying some kind of barter or trade with God?” made me feel ashamed of my deeds. “If you are unable to understand my words, the mistake is mine”, this sentence baffled me. His words are as different as his Name, I thought. I had been a very cowardly person since childhood. But the sentence, ‘Whatever is destined will happen for sure’ emboldened me and totally replaced my cowardice.
On 9th January 1992, I was told that Sri Nannagaru would visit my home. Right from dawn, I made flower garlands, cleaned and decorated the puja room and arranged colorful lights along the path He would walk down. Nannagaru came to my house at 4.30pm. Shyamala aunty introduced me to Nannagaru for the first time. I spent three days in Nannagaru’s presence. I had no idea about the subject he teaches. He spoke to me like a well wisher would do. But those 3 days, all I wanted to do was to sit by his side and keep looking at him, and nothing else. I was filled with an inexpressible happiness and joy. Never before had I experienced this kind of joy. That was clear. The second he left our house, I was filled with lot of discontentment, a feeling of incompleteness. I felt I needed to share my feelings with someone. Else, what we would become of me? I feared. Immediately I started writing a diary and called it ‘Gurudevobhava’. Who would be a better friend to share than my own mind, I felt. At a stage when I didn’t even fully understand the meaning of the word ‘Guru’, I named my diary ‘Gurudevobhava’. I have carefully recorded and stored details of every second I spent with beloved Father.
More than the speeches themselves, I seem to have had more instructions from experiences of daily life at home. “That which existed yesterday and does not exist today cannot be the Truth. Truth is that which remains unchanged yesterday, today or tomorrow.” Sri Nannagaru told us. Yes. I have tasted that truth. And that is Sri Nannagaru’s Love for us. The love He showered the very first time I met him, is the same as that he showers today. That which didn’t change yesterday, today or tomorrow is Nannagaru’s love. That love is divine.
Slowly, Sri Nannagaru became the most important aspect of my life. My beloved Father is with me. And I can achieve anything with his guidance. I developed that sort of faith. Every day, I would sit in front of His photo, and share all the experiences of happiness, sorrow, in fact every feeling with him. I always felt that He was there, and it was not a mere picture. When in sorrow, I always received mesmerizing teaching that would simply wipe away my grief. I used to discuss my problems with him. And I would receive specific and special answers from Him every time. But sometimes I wondered if all this was really true, or was it my mind playing tricks. But when Sri Nannagaru visited Vizag on 7.8.1996, he told me, “ Bindu my child, I do receive your words”. This banished all doubts from my mind.
Not just serving the essence of all the great books like Upanishads, Vedas, Bhagavadgita or Bible without having to read them, Nannagaru imparted practical spirituality applicable in everyday life. All the answer to problems we face in everyday life is in Nannagaru’s speeches. Through every word and action of His, Sri Nannagaru has led an exemplary life of spirituality in everyday life. Sri Nannagaru is the great teacher who implores us to render every responsibility of a house holder in the most appropriate way and without any kind of carelessness, while seeking the spiritual life leading to God.
For those who thought sadhana meant waking early in the morning, spending hours in puja, japa or meditation and then live as they want during the rest of the day, Sri Nannagaru taught that sadhana is that which is done every second of our lives. Sadhana is living every second the way God told us to. Sri Nannagaru is the great master who taught us how to lead a life as sadhana rather than doing sadhana in life.
Once, we all sat around Him, the whole day. A lot of devotees had brought sweets and fruits to offer to Him. “Bindu my child! What are these called?” He asked me. I didn’t reply. He asked me the same question four times! And then He himself gave the answer, “These are called ‘offerings’” and placed some of those sweets in my palms. “And these are called prasadam”, I felt. After reaching home, I kept thinking…if He has asked so many times, it must have a deeper meaning…what it is my Father!!
“Whatever you wish to give me is your offering. I will accept your offering, purify it and return it to you as prasadam. Some day, when you give me your ego, I will purify it and give it back to you as SELF. I am waiting for that.” I felt he was saying so. “Forgive me Beloved Father; I don’t even understand enough about this ego, let alone being able to place it as offering.
But my mind with its huge troublesome thoughts is something I know. Though I cannot offer the whole mind to you, I think I can offer a part of it. Please purify it and give me back. Then the purity of what you have given will burn away the impurities in the rest of the mind. And my mind will be totally pure. Wouldn’t it be easier to follow your path with a pure mind?” I thought.
I never felt Sri Nannagaru lives in Jinnuru alone. Everytime I called him “Father” or remembered Him as “Oh my Guru”, he replied back to me and was with me. This is my experience. If you gave a chocolate and some gold ornament to a child, the child would definitely choose the chocolate. Because the child is aware of the happiness it gets from the chocolate and has no idea about the value of gold. Similarly my Father, I have no idea about the value of moksha and the peace it brings. In my experience is the bliss that I get from the love that my Father bestows. I know the peace and bliss I experience when my mind is full of Him. I know the taste of that. Hence, I would ask of you, my Father, to completely fill my mind, without any space for a single bad thought. To live as you have asked us to and to offer my little life as GuruDakshina is what I would wish.
Oh My Guru!! If it is Brahmadeva who created the world, then you are my Brahmadeva for having created this spiritual interest in me, If it is Vishnu who maintains the world, then you are my Vishnu for having maintained my spiritual seeking on the right path, if it is Shiva who causes destruction of the world, then you are my Shiva for destroying the ego in me.
You are the meaning of the sentence “Guru Brahma, Guru Vishnu, Guru devo Maheshwara”.
“Oh Father, who is The Trinity in human form, Please grant me unshakable faith to believe that you would stand as my everything, the boon that you would fill my heart with yourself, and the good fortune to have a heart that beats only for you.”
Gopika's love
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