Thursday, December 24, 2020

"Sri Nannagaru is Lord Venkateswara himself" - (By Varma Garu)

Memories with Sri Nannagaru from childhood

Till my age 8, was blessed to stay in his presence. After that, used to come to Jinnuru for all holidays, played on that arugu all the time witnessing many devotees. I remember the days he took me to Palakollu on Saturdays on a bicycle for weekly grocery purchases. When I was at the age of 7 or 8, I remember the days when my leg was fractured, I used to pester my family members by asking them to take me in and out of house continuously. When they got irritated with me, he immediately shouted at them and said: "I will take care of him". He used to carry me in and out of the house whenever I asked. He bought for me almost every pictorial book on Ramayana, Mahabharata, and Bhagavatam. Used to go to his speeches in the post office and every word started chasing me since then. Used to wonder how he knows so many things as I never meet anyone else with that knowledge. On a request by a relative, I read enter Amrutha Vakkulu book for her aloud.

After that due to distractions of young age, except occasionally, I did not pay any attention to his talks for most of the time until I was 18. My mother always told me to blindly follow whatever he advised on every decision related to my life. This has become a habit.

My observation on Sri Nannagaru based on rational analysis

I do know that Sri Nannagaru received a lot of respect from all over always. Based on my observations since childhood, I did some common-sense analysis on Sri Nannagaru, for my own belief and conviction. He was born in a very decent family and blessed with enough property and he does not have to work and earn.

· Why is he going to each and every place irrespective of the weather in all seasons on a bicycle on teaching all?
· Why is he not enjoying food like others?
· How come he is so happy and comfortable although alone in his room? He does not go to movies, has no friends, and no entertainment of any kind.
· How come he is so calm and no reaction when there is some external trouble or criticism?
· Is there any reason for him to utter a lie on anything during speeches?
· If not for his words, what is the alternative in life for us?
These questions change me and my respect for him increased multifold.


Over a period, I was influenced by some books that I read in childhood and started loving Lord Venkateshwara. The moment I heard it devotional song on Venkateswara Swamy I would experience some peaceful meditation state. Eventually, I experienced the same peace when listening to Sri Nannagaru speeches.

One day asked Sri Nannagaru, how to get dispassion? He said, you love Lord Venkateswara right (I never told him) and he initiated me into Nama Japa - Om Namo Venkatesaya. On the same day, he gave Vishnu Sahasranamam book and explained to me how to read it. He also explained the meaning of Om Namo Venkatesaya word by word.

After some days, I had an urge to visit temples, and without his permission, I travelled to almost all temples over weekends in Tamilnadu and ended up losing interest in work. I had to call Sri Nannagaru and requested him to help me as I am not having any interest in work. He said Duty is God. He said, do your duty for the sake of God. If you do this way, God will be happy.

Luckily, he has taken care of every small decision and it was always simple and crystal clear. It was very relaxing for me and I was very comfortable blindly following whatever he says.

Some Difference

I listened to many of his speeches but never had any of those spiritual experiences. I always used to wonder, how come I don't even get a dream. After 2015, when he was at my house in Bhimavaram, he asked, "Now you are over 40 right?". I said yes. He looked into my eyes and that look appeared different. Nothing happened beyond that.

After 2 or 3 days, on one instance he made a decision for me and after a few hours somehow, I was against it internally. I did not talk to anyone about it. With few moments, he called and said I am leaving now to Jinnuru. I understood something went wrong and he came to know my thought. I had an inner struggle, and wondered is that all; our relationship does not have any more value? He returned to Jinnuru.

I could not sleep and struggled for 2 days. Heard he went to Palakollu and I went there. He did not talk to me. Came back to Bhimavaram and struggled again and again internally. Did not talk about this with anyone. I wandered alone on the street at odd hours and had troubled thoughts. Is that all there is in this relationship? who else can I depend on? I could not find anyone. At the same time seriously questioned who am I? For a few moments, got a glimpse of separateness from the body and felt there is no world and it is total illusion. After this, noticed that Sri Nannagaru is showing love again. Understood the meaning of every Amrutha vakku in a different sense which is so right. This helped me understand the subject and I started being happy.

Every weekend I used to go to Jinnuru. He allocated at least 30 minutes of exclusive time for me.

Few memories with Sri Nannagaru :

· Once I requested permission to go out for work. He said you stay in Bhimavaram and you will get "Work from home option" I got a call from a friend within a week with a work from home offer and within 2 weeks, I joined. Surprisingly higher salary than a job in an office!

· After 3 years, notified him there was an ego-based conflict at office. He simply said, resign. I was hesitant as there could be a struggle at the office because of dependencies. After a few days, he called me and said, resign. I resigned without the next job. Within 24 hours got another "Work from home" job without even preparing my application.
· After a year, I wanted to start a small consultancy and though I never expected it, he approved instantly. Even before registration was completed, I got a project.
· Had been to another country for getting a contract, they accepted instantly and offered a good price for job work. After my return without even saying anything, he asked, they offered a very reasonable and good price, right?
· One thought, I will apply for PhD. During that weekend visit, without my saying anything to him, he said, don't think of PhD; you don't need it.
· On September 23rd, 2017 at around 1:30 p.m. devotees were at ashram for Birthday day speech. Sri Nannagaru was very tired and was at home. By his looks, we were wondering whether he could get up from the bed. Within a few moments, he was full of energy and with a smiling face. He went to the ashram and gave a wonderful discourse. Sri Nannagaru's energy levels while giving a discourse are always at a higher level compared to his physical condition.

Last few days of physical Association

He came to Bhimavaram for treatment of skin condition. He gave me the opportunity to give medicines timely along with Srinivas Raju Garu. His body was full of reddish rash with terrible itching. The doctor examined him and said, “The rash is very severe and he is going through tremendous suffering.” Till the day he left Bhimavaram, he gave time for devotees and he always loses track of time when he is with Devotees. He was talking a lot about Sri Rama Krishna during this time.

One day night he called me and gave exclusive time. He said, “I have lived for sufficient time. This body has aged. Complications will arise if it continues(ఇంక సరిపోతుంది మాకు సరిపడా వయసు ఉంది కదా! ఇంకా ఉన్న కాంప్లికేషన్స్ ఉంటాయి). He instructed me on a few responsibilities that I need to take care of, and then he left for Jinnuru. Next day morning he left for Visakhapatnam and I came to know he was admitted in the hospital for treatment.

Within one day, I was seriously considering to go to Visakhapatnam and wondering whether he will accept if I go. I got a call from his assistant Bujji who was with him in Visakhapatnam, to please get lozisoft ointment as this is not available in Visakhapatnam. I immediately bought a bunch of tubes and travelled to Visakhapatnam. He gave a smile when I saw him in hospital and he asked how many did you get? I said 50. He laughed.

One night doctors called and said, his condition is very critical due to some medicines that were used. We did not tell Sri Nannagaru about this.” After a while, Sri Nannagaru told the doctors, "Don't worry I am not going away, please go home and sleep peacefully; by tomorrow evening it will be Okay". Next day evening a senior skin specialist saw him and his medicines worked like magic for his skin problem. Looking at his latest reports, the doctors said that all the risks of the previous day are in control now.

He went through a lot of suffering when he was in the hospital and he could not sleep at nights also. On the request of a few devotees and doctors who were also devotees, Apollo hospital allotted a dedicated ICU room to avoid infections from other patients, and the staff gave high respect and special attention.

Unable to bear seeing him in severe suffering, one day I went out and stood before Sri Ramana Maharshi's photo, crying out and saying "You used him all along and you left him in suffering. You are cruel. Please release him from his body so he can get relief". For a few hours, my mind was waiting for his release. Sri Nannagaru opened eyes, and said you should not think about when I am going to die.(నేను ఎప్పుడు చనిపోతాను అని అలా అనుకోకూడదు) I realized my mistake and I also understood there is no difference between Sri Ramana and him.

While at the hospital he kept saying, RK RK RK RK RK (RK-Ramakrishna) his hospital stay dragged on for about 30 to 40 days as different health complications showed-up one after another.

He was shifted to Sharmila Garu's house from hospital. He could not get up or sit comfortably on his own. One day Swami Paripoornananda came to visit him. On hearing about his arrival, he instantly sat on his own without any discomfort and spoke to him comfortably. He appreciated the work being done by Swami Paripoornananda. After a few days, he decided to return to Jinnuru.

I had a complete a contract during this time, but surprisingly my work on that contract was kept on getting postponed due to some external factors and I understood it was a miracle of Sri Nannagaru's grace because I had to be with him.

After returning home to Jinnuru from Visakhapatnam, Sri Nannagaru's bedroom was arranged on the first floor yes it has good air circulation. One day, a few devotees from Velpuru ashram came and give some books that were published on Sri Palani Swami (Devotee of Sri Ramana Maharshi). I heard that Sri Velpuru Swami notified to his devotees that Palani Swamy is reborn as Sri Nannagaru. Sri Nannagaru took a book, saw the photograph of Bhagwan and Palani Swamy and kept it on his heart with love and smiled. I understood this as a fact and confirmation from Sri Nannagaru as he mentioned in his speeches that in his previous life he had an association with Sri Ramana Maharshi at Vrupaksha cave.

One day he called and showed 4 fingers to indicate to stay in his room itself. I used to sleep in the room opposite to his at night. Following his instructions, as is, I did not leave that place day and night. Early morning on the 5th day he said, I Love you. I don't know what happened but all the energy that I had was drained out and I could not run around and serve him like before. Whenever he wanted to go out he called me.

Attempted to return to my home in Bhimavaram take a break for a few days but could not stay there. So decided to remain next to his bed and work from there. I could not do any service to him in the last 10 days but at the same time could not leave the place.

I was not there at the time but he informed Usha Garu, he would leave the body in 5 days and Usha Garu immediately told me. She also said 5th day is Vaikuntha Ekadashi. My inner feeling was to accept whatever his will may be.

Last day

Darshan continued till almost noon on the last day. A few moments before noon Sri Nannagaru had breathing trouble. Surrounded by hundreds of devotees, at 12 Noon, Sri Nannagaru left the body. There was a Clear Glow in his face unlike before during the suffering time. Out of respect to the wishes of devotees and family members, Maha Samadhi rites were done on the same day. For sure, Sri Nannagaru's message has always been to focus on the subject all the time and not on anything else.

Lord Venkateswara, Sri Nannagaru

Sri Nannagaru is a realized soul, and he will appear as each one perceives (ఎవరు ఎలా చూస్తే అలా కనపడతారు). This is what I understood in close observation.

One day at Andhra Ashram, Tiruvannamalai when he was with devotees, I was standing far behind near the gate. When Sri Nannagaru about to leave and was coming out, I strongly felt Lord Sri Venkateswara is coming towards me. For the first time in my life, Sri Nannagaru tapped on my shoulder. I felt it as confirmation. He used to send me posters of Sri Venkateswara every year.

I visited Tirumala recently and the next day visited Sri Nannagaru at Jinnuru. The Live avatar in front of me asked, “Were you able to see the statue clearly? (అక్కడ బొమ్మ భాగా కనబడిందా?)”

I am an ordinary human being and I accept I will continue to make mistakes if it is beyond my strength. Lord Venkateswara has come to me in the form of Sri Nannagaru and he has taken care of every moment of my life. Sri Nannagaru said, his relationship with devotees will continue even after the body is gone. ( దేహం పోయినా భక్తులతో అనుబంధం కంటిన్యూ అవుతుంది). I beg him only for Bhakti.

Many devotees helped in many ways during this time. Each devotee got their own opportunity to serve him. Duty doctors treated him, some served medicines, some worked in day shift, some in the night, some paid for the hospital, some by serving food, some by serving buttermilk, coffee, some by cleaning, some at Samadhi, some by managing crowds, some with flowers etc, Thousands of women came to Samadhi place. They all participated in the Samadhi ceremony.

Sri Nannagaru saga continues. He gave utmost importance to the subject of Atma Vidya.

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