Tuesday, December 29, 2020

"Nanna lives in our hearts forever!" - (By Dr.Usha Garu)

Nannagaru! He has invaded my life like a strong sweet perfume that aroma of which never goes away! He has engulfed me like a whirlpool, snatching away from me everything that I could call me and mine! We had no mediators between us as I belonged to him! (He said many times on many occasions that I was born for him) I was in search of him from my very childhood, but it took him 17 years to knock on my door though he had been invisibly guiding me right from the time of my birth. Being born with an intense quest for Truth, nothing interested me, no religious practice made me complete. From the day he stepped into my life physically, it has been nothing but pure magic! Every step turned out to be a miracle and miracles became a norm! My journey with him can’t be written in short as I have volumes to write, but let me make it brief (as per the requirement.) He once said, “Unlike very close devotees of Bhagavan who parted from him physically by destiny, I don’t want you to part from me even physically. Destiny should not part us!”

From the time we met in this life, he called me his spiritual daughter. Sometimes he said that I am his ‘Manasika Putrika’, meaning ’the person mentally connected as his daughter’. Most of my life revolved round him either traveling with him or doing his Ashram work, and that was my priority. Everything else would fall in place, though there were occasional struggles. After Nannagaru’s mother passed away, my role changed from spiritual daughter to that of his mother. He proclaimed to all the devotees that his mother did not leave him an orphan but gave me as his mother before she left. He would repeat it many times and there was never a day that went without mentioning my name - that was the ultimate intimacy that I share with him in this life (which according to him is of many lives). The importance and freedom that he gave me made me feel on Top of the world always and I would have tremendous power gushing from within. I always felt there is nothing that cannot be achieved. The glimpses of Truth that I tasted in his presence and even in his physical absence can’t be explained in words! Coming to the point of my Journey in the last 3 months before he left his physical frame - It all started from his birthday which falls on September 23rd. I had been in his presence as usual and since I had been with him during every hospital admission from his first admission in Hyderabad 4 years ago, and having known his health condition in detail, I knew he was coming up with new health issues. My fear about his physical illness increased as he was getting weaker and unstable. In spite of his developing skin rashes and total discomfort, he traveled to Hyderabad to attend a wedding he promised earlier. But I knew deep in my heart that he came to bless Hyderabad Devotees one last time!

It was on October 13th that he got admitted in Apollo Hospital in Vizag, in a risky condition for which he had to undergo intensive medical treatment. To us devotees that were at his bed side, it was an intense spiritual treatment. It turned out to be an exclusive roller coaster journey, where Nanna chanting the name RK (Rama Krishna) became RK himself and showed us the last days of RK by re-living it himself. We were seeing RK in Nanna completely; and my role became that of a mother to this universal God Father that turned God Baby to teach me a lot of things and make me spiritually independent. The past two and half months with him was an unparalleled spiritual instruction by him through his physical suffering, rather than the loving and graceful preaching that he did in his entire life time. It had such a strong impact on me that maybe nothing ever will really influence me again! Other than his Love for humanity, especially to his devotees, he did not care for his body nor comfort. He questioned me once, ’Why am I suffering so much? For whose sake?!’ I completely knew that he was suffering for his devotees, for people that sought his help to free them of ill health, from sadness, and from suffering of various types. Every saint underwent physical suffering before parting from the body out of compassion for their devotees and to remove their suffering. Intermittently he kept hinting to me what was going to happen next. He advised me not to complain - never complain! In between he told specifically to Varma (Sri Nannagaru’s grandson) and to me, ’You do my work, I will do yours!’

When he was suffering with intense pain, I cried & said, “Nanna, how can God be so cruel?!” He replied “If body comes, suffering comes too. Where there is no body, where there is no mind, in that place I Am!” One unique feature that always touched me right from the beginning is his sharing food with me. He would always share his food with me, and whatever food was left over by him, he would tell me to eat it up. On one occasion he shared his medicine too - Ultracet (the pain killer that he was so fond of). He said give me one and you take one and sleep! Tears rolled many a time, sometimes with gratitude, at times with love, at times with sorrow unable to see his discomfort. He taught me patience, endurance, and forgiveness. He made me rise above the body consciousness by bringing single pointed attention to him forgetting everything else. He made himself a priority to me by pretending to be dependent which he never was nor will ever be - to make the learning process quick before he finally parted, as he wouldn’t go without completing all the lessons that were meant to be learnt by heart. Many times he would physically bless me holding my cheeks and saying “How well you took care of me” (ఎంత బాగా చూసుక్తన్నావు అమామ ననుా). But then how well he has looked after thousands and thousands of his devotees all over the world! He attended to their every need, be it physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. Unlike other spiritual masters, he had no limitations or restrictions. He never imposed anything on anyone, he imposed no practices, as he wanted to bestow realization to one and all without any struggle and effort. That tremendous pure Love expressed in human form is the rarest and the precious years spent with him was the rarest of boon for all his devotees. His teachings shall live on, blessing all for generations to come and uplift them from sorrow to joy!

Five days before he left his mortal body, in midst of his physical suffering when he could hardly move even his eyelids, he opened his eyes and looked into mine, and said “You go and come!” I said Nanna I will not leave you, I will be with you only. He then said, “I will leave in 5 days”. And depart he did in 5 days at around 12 Noon on 29th December on the most auspicious day of the year, Vaikunta Ekadasi. He was completely conscious, drinking the “Tulasi rasam” that I poured into his mouth. My one hand was holding him and one hand caressing his chest gently calling him - NANNAGARU! He silently parted - The greatest and adorable gift to humanity parted in complete silence without a trace that he actually left - maybe to prove that there can never ever be parting in true sense. As he said destiny could not part us till he breathed his last nor after that. WE LOVE YOU NANNA FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR HEARTS!

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