Saturday, August 7, 2010

"At Sadguru's feet by a Devotee" - Part 1 (Dr.Mithin)

Recently a friend of mine who is instrumental in awakening devotion in me for my guru had said " Try to spend as much time with the sadguru" This thought remained uppermost in my mind.

I previously used to be scared to approach the guru becoz I felt scared that he will see all the bad qualities I have and I will be left ashamed.

But I decided otherwise and made preps to meet the guru following my friend's advise.

I messaged Dr Usha yesterday night asking her whether I could have Nanna's darshan today morning at 6.00 am before he leaves for Sri Sailam.

Having got a confirmation I got up at 4.30 am , got ready and started towards SR Nagar flat where the guru was put up.

On the way the radio was playing 'Guru Brahma' chant.

Apt, I thought, very apt.

I reached the guru's place at 6.00 am sharp and was a little sad that I couldnt get anything for him like fruits etc. I went up and by that time itself a few devotees had gathered around the empty chair where he was supposed to sit.

I saw him in the room yonder and went towards it and entered it and made pranams to him.

"Ah Mithin, come" he said.

I went in and offered my pranams and tried to sit down. He refused vehemently and asked me to sit up.

"But I want to sit at your feet " I protested.

"If your shirt is tucked in it is better for you to sit up" was his mysterious reply.

He then embarked to ask me about my practice and his minor health problems. I gave him sufficiently satisfying answers.

A few devotees came and talked and left after pranams.

A lady devotee came and offered me coffee along with Nanna.

I was too shy to take. Nanna began to sip on the hot coffee.

I blurted out to Nanna that I had seen him in a dream sometime back.

"Was it yesterday night or a few nights ago?" he asked.

"A few nights ago" I said. "I saw a three headed woman come and do seva to you."

He looked at me for a second and smiled and then changed the subject.

His demeanour showed that I just gave a confirmation to him about a diagnosis he had already reached about me.

"I have to go and sit with the people there for sometime. We will talk later " he said.

I nodded and bowed low to him ( fully prostrated)

I went back to the hall.

I REMOVED MY TUCKED IN SHIRT AND LEFT IT FREE. (LOL) and sat down on the ground.

A lady devotee asked me to come and sit in front of Nanna's chair instead of sitting far away. I thanked her and came and sat in front of the guru's chair.

He slowly came and sat down in the chair.

First he looked across the hall and at me and then closed his eyes.

His attender came and gave massage to his feet for a good ten minutes with oil and then stopped.

Nanna closed his eyes.

There was a pin drop silence all around.

I offered him a 'hi' from my friend mentally. His forehead wrinkled a bit and then stretched out peacefully.

Message delivered, I thought :)

I then started to bombard him mentally with waves.

The prayer went something like this " I am a bad person with no good qualities. I am filled with everything that is despicable. I have no devotion to your feet, nor love for the divine. I have seen my friend who is full of your devotion. kindly forgive my faults and give me devotion like that "

I had not even finished the prayer than he suddenly opened his eyes and looked at me with piercing looks. I did not know whether I died or was born in that moment. It was soooo surreal.

And then he closed his eyes.

I continued to pray.

He suddenly opened his eyes again and looked at me for a long time.

Oops, he is seeing, I thought...all my births...all my sins....all my badness...everything he was seeing I thought.

And suddenly it hit me. I was not afraid anymore. I urged him to see more.

See, see and heal...I pleaded mentally.

The fear was gone. I opened my eyes wider. See, I said.

And he saw....

He closed his eyes again.

I felt purified...happy and like a new born.

There was a man who knew more about me than I knew about myself, I thought.

I was at peace.

Next I decided to bombard Nanna with another plea.


"Show me" I pleaded....

I did not know when it happened.

But something astonishing and ego shattering experience happened.

I could see Nanna was moving his head all over the hall with closed eyes...

But instead of his eyelids I saw two huge eyes!!!! They were more powerful....more deep than his regular eyes.

They were exactly like the eyes of Sri Ramakrishna!

I thought it was a hallucination. I looked at the other devotees.

They were looking normally.

But when I looked back at him...two magnificent pair of eyes were looking at me and the devotees.

They were three times larger than the normal eyes and were slanted like how a deity eyes should be.


I wondered again whether it was a hallucination when the eyes blinked!!!

Nanna was looking at me even though his eyes were closed.

He looked like Ganesha, like Sri Durga.

It was very very awe inspiring to see such eyes. I have never seen such eyes.

And then suddenly he opened his eyes and I could see his regular eyes. He closed them again and the large pair of eyes came up in the place where the eyelids should have been there.

I knew immediately...I am with God.

Only God can have such eyes...Kamalanayana Krishna!

Friends it is beyond the scope of my limited vocabulary to describe the power, love and seriousness in those eyes.

I have never seen anything more beautiful...anything more scary...anything more divine than those divine pair of eyes which didnt seem to exist.

Those eyes were studying everyone...each one was being bombarded by grace.

I was a silent witnerss to the power of Nanna...

I was left stunned...

imagine this once again...when someone closes his eyes...we see his eyelids...but here there were no eyelids...there were two huger pair of eyes...slanting like a deity and deeper than the deepest ocean possible.

I looked at him open mouthed and wondered what is in store next...

(to be contd in part2)