I said "Tomorrow"
Sri Nannagaru's smile was wiped out and his face assumed a very sad expression as if he was going to miss me.
What did I do to deserve this love? I thought.
Now after having finished his meal he gestured me to accompany him to lighting of the Deepam on the front yard of Sri Nannagaru ashram where already hundreds of devotees were waiting.
As we walked through the seated masses they bent and touched the ground hallowed by the Guru's feet.
We reached the Deepam placed in the courtyard. It would be lighted by Sri Nannagaru once the Maha Deepam on Arunachala would be lit.
As I came and sat at the feet of Sri Nannagaru I could hear the whipsers of devotees around "Who is this boy?"
We all started to gaze at Arunachala for the Deepam to light waiting for the great moment to happen....
Suddenly the Deepam on Arunachala was lit!
There was an applause all around.
Sri Nannagaru got up and circumbulated the Deepam. After having finished thrice, he saluted it and asked me to do the circumbulation. I got up and did the circumbulation twice. He held me when I was about to start the circumbulation third time and asked the photographer to take a photo of Him and me. This was out first pose photograph together.
After the snap was clicked he asked me to complete my circumbulation.
I completed it as devotees chanted 'Arunachala Siva'.
I sat down and looked at Sri Nannagaru and wondered at his compassion.
After the chants Sri Nannagaru left for his room.
I decided to go for circumbulation when I was surrounded by devotees asking me as to who I was. One lady came and told me " Sri Nannagaru has talked a lot about you to us."
I was curious.
"What did he say? Please tell me." I asked.
She said "He said that you a Jnanaputra-Son of Jnana. That you are a ripened fruit. He said that you are a very ardent devotee of the Divine Mother and have worshipped Goddess Gayathri all the time."
I was surprised. I had never worshipped Goddess Gayathri in this life of mine atleast.
I was also touched by his Love.
Another aunty came and offered me dinner.
I refused and told her that my stomach was full after Sri Nannagaru ate. She looked at me surprised.
After this a few aunties and myself started for Girivallam.
I looked at Arunachala and said "This is my first Girivallam on Deepam and on a Full Moon. Let it be that all my enemies, all the people I despise, all the people I hate, am jealous and indifferent to be more successful and prosperous in life than me. This is my prayer on my maiden Deepam Girivallam."
The moment I said this prayer an unknown fear crept into me whether I had done a mistake by praying such. But the next moment I dismissed it and started for Girivallam.
I finished the Girivallam in 4 hours and came back to Nannagaru ashram at 12 midnight.
I had my first meal then after prostrating to the room in which Sri Nannagaru was sleeping.
I returned to my room in Ramanashram.
I was very scared that night in Sri Ramanashram.
Sri Nannagaru told that I would have Truth Realization in this life. Will it happen today? I wondered.
I was all alone in Ramanashram and Arunachala was just outside the door. I was scared. What will happen to my family, my wife, my child if I realize the Self?
I decided to sleep with lights in the room on to discourage the Spirit of Arunachala from entering and giving me Realization ( lol )
In the morning I woke up, happy that I did not have any Realization in the night.
It was then that a vasana in me crept up and I was feeling ashamed and unhappy. This is Arunachala, Ramanasharam!
And here I was full of vasanas, mind thoughts, evil thoughts, I felt dejectedly.
How am I going to face Sri Nannagaru? I was at a wits end.
What will he think of me?
I slowly got up and got ready. I went out and saw Arunachala.
It was IMMENSE, MAJESTIC, beyond the MIND and BODY.
I thanked Ramanashram authorities for the accommodation.
It was then that my eyes rested on the book "Annamalai Swami - Final Talks "
I decided to buy it later.
I went and did pradakshina of Bhagawan Samadhi and Mother shrine.
It was then that I overheard some Andhra devotees tell amongst themselves that Sri Nannagaru would be coming to Ramanashram and that he had suddenly told it in the morning.
I reached Sri Nannagaru ashram where there was a cow worship going on.
Sri Nannagaru was saying "Dedicate the cow to Arunachala"
Yesterday night while doing Girivallam I had thought that it would be nice if I got to circumbulate Sri Nannagaru.
I had told this to Gopika.
Seizing my chance I quickly completed 20 Sri Nannagaru pradakshinas as he was in the middle of the crowd.
Gopika smiled at me and said " So, you got your chance."
I asked another devotee "Is it true that Sri Nannagaru is coming to Ramanashram?"
"Yes," she said "it seems he made an impromptu plan in the morning. We are thinking that it is because he wants to see you that he is coming."
I felt it was highly unlikely.
I went upto his room after the pradakshinas where I met him.
"I am going to Ramanashram" He said.
"I will come" I replied still feeling guilty to look at him because of the vasanas I had had in the morning.
We followed his car to Ramanashram.
He directly went to the book stall and I followed him.
He took out the book "Annamalai Swami - Final talks" and browsed through it and replaced it.
I was wondering.
This could not be a coincidence.
I took the book and flipped it.
It came to a dialogue where the Swami was saying " You are that Peace. The thoughts that come and go are not you. Whatever comes and goes is not you. Your reality is peace. If you don't forget that, that will be enough."
I WAS STUNNED.
I followed Sri Nannagaru to the Bhagawan shrine and then later to the old meditation Hall.
In the Hall there was an ethereal peace.
Sri Nannagaru was standing in front of Bhagawan's photo and was praying.
I was standing behind him and was thinking "It is so peaceful. I must be this peace. I am not the vasanas, the prarabdha nor the evil thoughts. I am this Peace. If I can hold onto this Peace, I will have attained Truth."
No sooner than this thought ran through my mind than Sri Nannagaru turned around smiled at me, patted my cheek two times and left Ramanashram.
I met Mr. Alan Jacobs for a while after that and then left Tiruvannamalai.
One of my fellow passengers was a new devotee and had told Sri Nannagaru that she was unable to understand his Greatness.
He had blessed her and said that she would know soon.
Without knowing this I had talked to her for about 4 hours about Sri Nannagaru on the drive back to Chennai and by the time we reached it she
she had tears in her eyes.
I had told her " The God that you worshipped in all your lives has come to you in the form of Sri Nannagaru in this life."
Dr.Mithin Aachi is an orthopaedic surgeon by profession. He is a star-gazer, painter, and writer. He is an amalgamation of all kinds of arts and activities. He is a happy go lucky person, who just sees love in everything. From the very tender age, he had an quest to know the truth. He admires and worships Rama Krishna and believes Nannagaru is an avatar of Rama Krishna and worships him in this form. He is a simple person who is an embodiment of love.